By: Jennifer McMillen Smith, LISW-S, HIV Social Worker at MetroHealth Medical Center and medically reviewed by Ann K. Avery, MD, Infectious Disease Physician at MetroHealth Medical Center
You already know that we are all about sex here 😉 , especially the adventurous kind! Who doesn’t like a little afternoon snack? 😉
Adventurous sex can be super fun, and we are about to break down some ideas for spicing things up in the bedroom (idea #1 – do it somewhere besides the bedroom! Kitchen counter, anyone?).
Describe – in detail – what you want to do to your boo
It can be a major turn-on to talk about what you’ll do during that sexy time. Building up anticipation is part of the fun! It keeps you and your lover dreaming about what’s to come (cum?! ;). Will there be food involved? Possibly watching some kinky porn to get your lover in the mood? How about a third party to make things more adventurous? Whisper the details in their ear, text them little sexy things all day long, and keep up the “dirty” (why do we call it that?! It should be “flirty” 😉 ), descriptive talk all the way through until climax. Your biggest sexual organ is your brain – so engage the mind as well as the body. 😉
Practice very long foreplay
We all love some type of foreplay. Whether you like a little romance, or like to get down and dirty, foreplay can be a fun tease for everyone involved. This definitely builds that sexual tension up! Instead of going right down on them, slowly kiss and tease their inner thighs, breathe some soft breaths on their most intimate parts, you get the picture….a little teasing can be one of the best parts of leading up to sex, Amirite?
Sex toys, duh
Sex really encompasses many things, such as oral, anal sex, sexual spanking, fetishes and more! So, why not add some sex toys to accompany you and your lover in bed? A soft silky tie to bind their hands together? A little butt pug to get them ready for what’s next? A vibrating cock ring (you can even get these babies at Target!)? Before we go any further, we know what you may be thinking. What about HIV? Can sex toys spread HIV? The short answer is it’s very unlikely! HIV can’t live very long outside your body, so even if it comes in contact with a sex toy, it dies so quickly it can’t get much a chance to infect. We still recommend washing sex toys with good old soap and water after each use and before sharing.
If you’re not into sex toys really, your fingers, tongue and mouth work as great too.
Fantasies are fun
Having sexual fantasies is a normal part of human sexuality. Some people prefer to keep them fantasies, but others might like to act out those fantasies. Remember what we said about using your brain for sex? It can be extremely sexy for your lover to hear about your fantasies, and who knows, they may even want to help you carry them out – if you’re both into that!
Consensual sex is happy sex
The most important component to a satisfied sex life is making sure you’re getting enthusiastic, repeated yeses all throughout sexy time. As long as you and your partner(s) consent to what’s on the menu, enjoy and have fun!
Undetectable sex is safer sex
If you’re living with HIV and taking medicine and undetectable, U=U (Undetectable + Untransmittable), so you don’t have to worry about transmitting HIV to your partner(s). We still recommend other barriers, such as condoms, dental dams, water-based lube and internal condoms (also called female condoms) to reduce the risk for other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
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