By: Jennifer McMillen Smith, LISW-S, HIV Social Worker at MetroHealth Medical Center and medically reviewed by Ann K. Avery, MD, Infectious Disease Physician at MetroHealth Medical Center
Let’s talk sexting.
You probably love it when your partner tells you how hot and sexy you are in person. Sexting takes all those feelings and packs it into one awesome text. Sexting helps you flirt, remember a steamy night, and build up anticipation for the next time you and your partner see each other.
Sexts are like foreplay. They can make things much hotter when we’re together in real life.
But what if you’re living with HIV? Is sexting out of the picture?
Of course not.
People with HIV can have normal sex lives; they just need to know how to have sex in the safest way possible.
So yeah: Sext away. Just keep in mind that no matter how you’re doing it, there’s always a chance to do it better.
If you’re wondering how to improve sexting, keep these things in mind:
Your recipient must want to receive your sexts
Sexting works best for people in committed relationships with each other.
Sexting is hot if you already know what you and your partner(s) like — and you know just what to say to get your partner thinking about how great it’ll be when you’re together again.
It’s the worst when you want somebody and they don't want you back, but you have to respect that. Sexting is creepy if the object of your affection doesn’t feel the same about you.
Sexting should feel like the most natural thing in the world
Sexting can happen anywhere, and that’s what makes it so fun. Publically, you could be doing something completely innocent, like standing in line at the store. On your phone, though, you could have one steamy conversation going.
Pro-tip: Try to keep it appropriate when in public…other people don’t want to know or see your sexts 😉
Sexting is just natural playful behavior between people who have healthy sex lives. If the sexting feels forced or compulsive, that’s telling you something’s wrong.
Don’t rush things (or let somebody rush you)
Sexting is all about communication (that’s kinda the whole idea). If you get a sext and it feels too soon, go ahead and say so.
Likewise, if your sexting partner tells you it’s too soon, show them how respectful you are and slow it down. Love and sex are complicated enough — sexting shouldn’t be making things even messier.
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Sexting and safer sex go hand in hand
Did you know there’s a safer-sex emoji ☔ It looks like an umbrella with raindrops falling off it. The umbrella is supposed to represent a condom…you can use your imagination for the rain.
It looks like the most harmless thing in the world, but if you and your partner both know it represents doing it, the emoji is a sexy secret message to send back and forth. This page explains all the safer-sex emojis for various models of cellphones.
Pro-tip: It’s easy to get carried away with the fun and excitement of sexting and let your guard down. Don’t forget what matters most: keeping you and your partner healthy.
Be sensible about sending sexy pictures of yourself
You can’t control where your pictures end up after you hit “send.” If a relationship goes south, your ex could use your pictures for revenge.
Just take a look at the celebrities and athletes who end up on The Shade Room after their nudes leak.
There are lots of ways to take selfies that won’t embarrass you if they become public, like waist-up pics of your awesome 6-pack or ones of you in your boxers or panties.
Sexting brings togetherness and fights isolation
If your partner(s) is away on business or visiting family, sexts can help keep things spicy and make it even better when you see each other again. You’re never totally apart if you can be sexy over your cellphones.
Sexting can be fun and sexy. You just have to avoid all the stuff that makes it unfun and unsexy -like catfish. So sext carefully, keep it fun, and be aware of how it makes you and your partner(s) feel. Enjoy! 😉
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