How to Make Friends as an Adult

by Louis Catania

Louis Catania, Patient Navigator, Division of Infectious Disease and medically reviewed by Ann Avery, Infectious Disease Physician at Metrohealth Medical Center

When we leave school, we suddenly go from being forced to make friends with people our age to having to go out of our way to find them. 😴 It can be pretty jarring, but having friends is super important for our happiness at any age (especially when we’re an adult!).

Let’s dive into how to make friends as an adult and why it matters so much.

It’s nice to have a friend

To put this in scientific terms, people with friends live longer, happier, and more relaxed lives. Strong social ties make you 50% better at surviving things (in general). Thinking of it another way: not having friends is kind of like smoking 15 cigarettes a day…😨

Friends are important because they:

  • Make us feel like we belong
  • Help us get through big changes like new jobs or becoming a parent
  • Keep us moving or avoiding unhealthy lifestyles
  • Improve our self-confidence and self-worth
  • Help us cope with trauma

Then why is it so hard 🚧

We’re busy people in an online world. 🌎 Remote working, moving to new places, and getting distracted by other priorities are some of the things that get in the way of us making new friendships, or keeping up with old ones. When we have to take care of a grandparent, or a child, or our jobs are super demanding, it can be tough to get out of the house and go to someone’s birthday party.

And that’s the kicker: Maintaining friendships takes effort. 🏋️ It doesn’t just happen, and making new friends can be super awkward at the start. But don’t worry! We’ve got some ways to make it easier. 🤗

How to make friends as an adult: Some quick tips

Here are some fun and easy ways to meet new people:

  • 🏀 Join clubs or groups: Do you have a hobby or interest? Join a club or group related to it! Whether it’s a book club, sports team, or a crafting group, doing things you love with others is a great way to make friends 🤝.
  • 👐 Volunteer for a cause: Helping out in your community is awesome and it’s a great way to meet people who care about the same things you do. Plus, working together on a project can help you make strong connections ❤️.
  • 📱 Use social media and apps (mindfully): Social media and apps are great for making new friends. Join local groups on Facebook, try friend-making apps like Bumble BFF or Meetup, or use Reddit to find online groups. Just be sure to engage and find meaningful interactions. It’s about more than just scrolling.
  • 👔 Make friends at work: Yeah, this one might sound silly, but coworkers can become great friends (they’re people, too!). It just takes meeting them outside of a work setting, like at coffee or after-work hangouts.
  • 📞 Reconnect with old friends: Sometimes old is best, and maybe that friend from high school was hoping you’d reach out. A quick call or message can get you right back into the swing of things.

Sometimes we’re in our own way

It’s easy to look at the list above and say we’re going to do all of them, but taking that next step can feel super daunting. That’s because we often have to overcome our own fears and doubts.

That’s why learning how to make friends as an adult can mean overcoming some common hurdles such as:

  • Fear of rejection: Lots of people worry about being rejected. Try to see it as a normal part of meeting new people, not a personal failure. Keep trying, and don’t give up. 💪
  • Building Confidence: This one’s hard and can be a lifelong journey, but it’s about the little things that add up. Practice positive self-talk and take small steps out of your comfort zone. Each positive interaction can boost your confidence. 🌻
  • Managing time: Making time for social activities is important. Schedule meetups with potential friends, like you would any other important activity. ⏰
  • Social anxiety: It’s okay to start small! No one has to start with friend-speed-dating 500 people. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques can also help you stay calm in social settings. 😰
  • Letting go of the past: We can’t let the past control our future. Just because we had a bad experience doesn’t mean future ones will be negative, too. Every new person you meet is a fresh start. 🤗
  • Being vulnerable: Making connections means being open to other people. It’s about sharing our feelings, interests, and experiences. Being genuine encourages others to open up, too. 💗
  • Being realistic: It’s a numbers game, really. Even though we might meet lots of people before we find those few that click with us, when we do, the lifelong friendships we make will only be more fulfilling. 🫂
  • Practicing active listening: Being a good friend is taking an interest in someone else’s life. Ask questions and engage in meaningful conversations. This shows you value the other person and helps build strong relationships.👂

Positive Peers: Helping to build new connections

Using digital resources to make friends is one way to overcome the loneliness an always-online world creates. The Positive Peers app allows members to share their experiences and tips, help each other work through the complexities of adult friendships, and provides advice blogs (like this one on setting boundaries, or this one on taking care of your mind, body, and spirit!).

Learning how to make friends as an adult doesn’t have to be scary. Use the tips we shared in this blog, and check out the Positive Peers app to expand social circles, start building connections, or find people that are at similar stages in life. Our community is here to help. 🤗

So, take the first step today and reach out – your new friends are waiting! 🌟