Anal sex can be super fun and full of pleasure, but some people don't like to talk about it.
Maybe they should though, because more talk could lead to more understanding, more knowledge, more pleasure, and less pain!
People won’t become anal sex pros overnight, but let’s get the conversation started. Here are a few points everybody should know about anal sex.
Anal should not cause pain or bleeding
First and foremost, anal sex is a normal, pleasurable, and acceptable way to have sex no matter your gender and sexual identity. Okay, now that we are clear about that, let’s continue…
Everyone’s rectum has a ton of nerve endings. These can cause pleasure or pain, depending on how you and your partner do “the do.” Nobody likes a pain in the arse, so let’s aim for the pleasure 😉
If you hear somebody say “bleeding is just part of doing anal” - they’re dead wrong! Pain and bleeding are signs that something is wrong.
Anal should not cause bleeding. Blood means tissues are being torn — raising the chance of getting an infection. Whether it’s HIV or something else, let’s aim to keep your butthole blood-free.
Same with pain: Anal does not have to hurt. Pain means there’s too much force being used or your butt isn’t relaxed and loose enough yet.
How to avoid harm and increase pleasure!
To keep things loose and fun, try these four things:
- More foreplay around the rim of the anus
- Deep breaths - relax. Embrace the moment and be at ease
- Don’t just ram it in there! Go slow, ease it in
- Use lots of lube
Pro-tip: Inserting the penis/toy at a 45° angle will help you hit all the right spots. Is it getting hot in here or is it just us? 🔥
Remember, anal sex should start slowly. The receptive partner should be relaxed before the they get “The D” - one inch at a time.
And PS, the receptive partner ALWAYS has permission to say “stop.” Sex is consensual, at all times - no excuses.
Lube is key to good anal sex! It reduces friction, improves pleasure, and reduces any chance of harm to the bottom partner. Less chance for harm, less chance to spread HIV or other STIs! Lube around the anus, on the condom, and a drop inside the condom for extra pleasure 😉
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The right diet can improve your anal health
Did you know what you eat affects anal sex? The right diet can help make sexy time sooooooo much better!
Dietary fiber gives shape to your poop. If you get plenty of fiber, your poop comes out easily and sticks together, leaving your rectum pretty darn clean.
Fruits, vegetables, and whole grains have lots of fiber. A high-fiber diet helps cleanse the colon & prevents the formation of hemorrhoids, which can be one of the prime causes of bleeding and pain during anal sex.
You don’t want a bunch of feces hanging around in your rectum — it just makes everything messy during anal, and poop is not clean — it’s full of germs.
It helps to understand the biology of the anus
There are three main parts down there:
- The rectum, which carries poop out of the body.
- The external sphincter, which you can control just like the muscles in your hands or feet.
- The internal sphincter, which is involuntary, meaning you can’t totally control it. The internal sphincter can tighten up in response to fear or anxiety, or it can open up in response to relaxation.
These parts are bit different with everybody. Learning how yours work is the first step toward making anal sex feel better. Here’s a good site to explore to learn more. You could also check out this article from The Advocate.
Sex should be what you want it to be
You are in control of your sex life. No one should ever force you into putting up with unwanted pain or bleeding. Nor should they make you feel bad for doing it in the butt. It’s natural, it’s pleasurable, and it’s not your fault they’re missing out ;p
Getting comfortable, getting hot, getting hard — it should all feel good and feel right. You do you and we’ll keep the advice rolling so you can do it better and safer 😉 👍🏾