By: Ann K. Avery, MD, Infectious Disease Physician at MetroHealth Medical Center
If there was any way for me to institute more human rights, I would. I would add housing and health care, along with internet access. I would most certainly add the right to quality orgasms. That’s right – the big O! The more, the merrier. Amirite, or amirite?! 😃😉. Just like access to clean drinking water, you need plenty. Orgasms do the body, the mind, you, and your partner(s) soooooo much good! This extends far beyond Valentine’s Day. But since one of the most romantic holidays just passed, it’s a good time to start! ❤️
Did you know that orgasms have several health benefits? 🎉 They decrease stress and pain, boost the immune system and self-esteem, and improve body image. They’re simply wonderful. And if you want to take a break from reading this blog and have one now, we won’t be offended. In fact, we encourage you to go have one instead! 😉
You 👏🏾 deserve👏🏾 pleasure! 👏🏾 Read that again.
There are several types of orgasms, so lets talk about them.
- Blended orgasms: This can come from stroking both ends of the clitoris, the outer part between your labia (a.k.a. the lips), and the inner part at your G-spot. Doing this long enough – with calm breathing – can give the feeling of a blended orgasm. Because of the feeling, it’s sometimes called a combination orgasm.
- Multiple orgasms: This is back-to-back orgasms in short time.
- Pressure orgasms: Applying a heavier-than-usual touch on one body part and cause great sensations throughout the body when you least expect
- Relaxation orgasms: Picture yourself in a deep relaxed state with no worries on the mind. Then picture that time with intense kissing, touching, fingering, or licking. The Big O may be yours.
- Tension orgasms: This is made possible when you apply pressure to a specific area directly to inspire that pleasure principle.
Now, that you know some types of orgasms, here are several routes to get to the Land of The Big O. 💦😏 The best part is you can choose your own adventure! We at Positive Peers encourage you to do what works best for YOU, boo. We have a few tips that may help enhance your experiences along the way.
Make it a point to masturbate. This is truly self-love and it gives you time to please yourself. You can gain more comfort with your body this way (and more confidence). Masturbating can help you learn more about what feels good. That way, you can give your partner better instruction if they’re curious. Toys are sooo much fun and we definitely recommend at least trying them out!
Don’t hold back on the lube. The wetter, the better.💦 Lube is ideal whether you’re flying solo or with a co-pilot. It’s a rather handy tool to have around. It reduces uncomfortable friction and allows you to safely engage in a wider range of acts, techniques, and positions. And it also can lead to more arousal and pleasure. Water-based lube or silicone-based lube, you decide! Have fun with it! 😉
Oh, and don’t snooze on lube for nipple play. A little dab of lube on your finger can be the difference between hand-on-nipple stimulating feeling irritating and feeling mind-blowing. (Trust us on this one!)
Fantasize. Let your mind wander off to the shores of pleasure. You deserve this and it shouldn’t come with guilt. Fantasies can help you forget about the anxieties of day-to-day life, feel more secure, and focus in on your pleasure. Fantasy offers an alternative to real-life but can inspire what happens in the near future. I believe it was the great western philosopher, Mariah Carey, who gave us this gem:
“Oh, when you walk by every night
Talkin' sweet and lookin' fine
I get kinda hectic inside
Mmm, baby, I'm so into you
Darlin', if you only knew
All the things that flow through my mind”
Don’t Skip Foreplay, y’all! If you’re with a partner, be sure to ease into things. Foreplay heightens the sexual experience and it’s just way more fun to tease leading up to sex! 😚There are plenty of options from mutual masturbation, nipple play, giving and receiving head, to much more. Slow things down a bit and savor the flavor, hunny!
Fingers, Toys & Dick! We would be buzzkills if we didn’t mention butt play, too. You have options here: toys, fingers, or dick. Remember, choose your own adventure. In either of these three options, we suggest lube. Whether you’re top/bottom/vers, this can bring lots of pleasure.
Tickle your taint Technically, it’s the perineum. It’s the strip of skin between your balls and your butt. This area is packed with nerve-endings, so it feels really sensitive.
Some guys say that by applying pressure to this area, they’re able to have multiple orgasms—which is probably because you can stimulate your prostate gland externally via your perineum. During sex, ask your partner to place a finger here and press onto it until the pressure feels just right.
Find your G-Spot (prostate) You can find the G-spot in the prostate. You can stimulate it externally by applying pressure to your taint, but if you’re interested in maximizing pleasure, use a finger (or two) with some lube. Lube up the soft pad of a finger and stick it about 2 inches inside your butt. You’ll know the spot when you feel it: it’s a small, chestnut-sized lump that feels super sensitive. Once you get there, apply some pressure and enjoy.
Don’t forget about the G-Spot for women! You’ve probably heard of the G spot, along with how it’s the “key” to achieving an earth-shattering vaginal orgasm (because it’s true, y’all!). It’s not a separate spot in your vagina, the G-Spot is actually part of your clitoral network. This means that when you’re stimulating the G-Spot, you’re actually stimulating part of your clitoris! YEPPPP, it’s true! Turns out, the pea-sized nub where the inner labia meet is actually only the tip of the clitoris and divides into two “roots” that can be about four inches long. Plus, this region can vary from woman to woman which explains why it can often be difficult to locate. Is your mind blown yet?
Sound fun? 😁 We hope you stopped reading this a long time ago and are now coming back after indulging in yourself, hehe! 😏 All in all: decide what works for you, and enjoy the journey! Exploring yourself and partner is the best part! In our time of social isolation, reaching an orgasm shouldn’t be held hostage to needing someone else. Make that O Face again and again…….and again! 🤗